17 Hilarious Medical Jokes & Witty Hospital Signs

September 15, 2015

17 Hilarious Medical Jokes & Hospital Signs

ReSurge International / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND

Don't think your local hospital is the most lighthearted place? We're not surprised. That's only natural for patients who only come around for emergency situations or not-so-fun medical treatment.

Hospital shifts for medical workers, too, can become quite monotonous. And precisely because of that, hospital workers still love to fool around and throw an occasional harmless prank to keep things light. Laughter may not be the best medicine realistically speaking, but it certainly helps.

Hospital humor is not just jokes and pranks, it can also be more of a permanent fixture. Enjoy this collection of some of the wittiest hospital signs (real and imagined) from across the web:

#1 Danger! Doctor with a twisted sense of humor

Nurse Don't Mess With MePublicdomainhut / CC BY

Surgeons — they slice and dice people for a living. For your own sake, you better not make them angry.

#2 When you know they mean business

Babies Are Not To Pass This Point

One must wonder, how do would-be parents feel about this sign?

#3 When you know your kids deserve the best

The Wooden Spoon Center of Achievement

Andrew Clarke / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND

Are your children spoiled rotten? Then this is the right place for them. You know they'll be in good hands, getting all the love and attention they deserve.

#4 Your local hospital needs your help.

Our Hospital Needs Your Help

K. Lesser & A. Drauglis / Flickr / CC BY-SA

You know things are bad when your local hospital can't afford a proper billboard.

#5 From the creators of "tales about the birds and the bees."

Stork Has Delivered

rew Allen / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND

This is for those dads, who still believe in fairly tales. Who knows? Maybe Peter Pan is also wandering around.

#6 Warning: No refunds!

Hospital Sign: Free AutopsyThe Simspons

We all love free stuff, but this might be going too far.

#7 Odd hospital layout

Hospital Restaurant

Post Memes / Flickr / CC BY


Apparently people get really hungry after long gynecology exams. Good thing there's a restaurant waiting for them just across the corridor.

#8 Stating the obvious

In Case of an Emergency

In case your parents didn't pass on to you this valuable piece of knowledge, here's a huge sign to remind you how to handle an emergency.

#9 Caution, fragile!

Please Don't Sit on the Body Bags

Scott Wagner / Flickr / CC BY-NC-ND

This is obviously good advice, no question. The reason why they needed to put it up there in the first place... now that's the disturbing part.

#10 You know they really care, when you see this:

The Roaches Are Getting Cancer

Ah, it's so nice that they care. Too bad they're doing nothing about that roach infestation.

#11 Being a nurse isn't easy.

English is such a complicated language... you never know what's truly going on.

#12 Be sure to read the fine print.

Also help yourself to an extra one if you happen to have a runny nose.

#13 ...which leads to the question, "How did they decorate the morgue?"

EKG Christmas

As long as you see this, you know you're fine. Problem is, it doesn't show your vitals in real time.

#14 You'd never get lost in this hospital.

It's either they have just a single resident practitioner on staff or people are seeking medical care for anything from paper cuts to cat attacks. Or, most likely, someone is trying to be funny at the expense of the poor patients.

#15 Lawsuit incoming in 3... 2...1...

Female Changing Room

The male to female patient ratio in this hospital is probably very imbalanced.

#16 Patient care at its finest.

Kebab Hospital

It makes no sense at all, but it certainly sounds like a place where you'll definitely enjoy tasty hospital food.

#17 Beware of the cat!

Notice Regarding the Cat

She won't give you any transmittable human diseases, but fleas? That's a risk you may want to consider.

Bonus: Funny Hospital Commercial

This kid knows when you need a doctor:

For more hospital humor and entertainment be sure to check out some of the funniest medical puns, jokes & one-liners.